Long time...

with no update. I apologize to those of you who actually check my blog semi-regularly.

Not entirely my fault - it took us half a damn month to get Telus to get our internet service up and running. Roomie is pissed. I don't blame him. If I didn't regard all service companies as equally crappy and evil, and didn't focus on giving my money and pseudo-patience to the one that employs my brother, I'd have switched providers in a heartbeat. As it was, I was close. Very very close.

So it has occured to me while rearranging my room, finally, after finishing the seemingly endless battle that is laundry: I really do covet sleep more than I ought. I determined this from the sheer volume of pajamas that I own, in their wide variety of colors and styles. And yet, I seem to get less sleep than most people I know, or the same small amount but for reasons much poorer than theirs (ex. I am not in school anymore nor do I have five children). I'd like to think this is just 'cause I'm busy, but it's not. It's due to make-work busy-ness and some sort of screwed up avoidance issues, mostly because I would spend hours in bed sleeping, dozing, or just thinking and being depressed to avoid being up and around my family back when I lived at home years ago...

Regardless. I think I lost my cell phone last night. C said it wasn't at her house, and it was with me when I went to the party at her place and not with me when I came up the stairs to my apartment. It is not in my car. That left her house, or a snowbank. I'm betting on the snowbank. On the plus side, my service contract expires in December, so I can go to a pay-per-use finally without more than a month's penalty.

Had a quiet day today. Laundry, watching Dead Like Me. Which is cool, I enjoy it. But it wasn't quite the black humour I was expecting. The humor was only pseudo-black. Like the little teenagers who run around with black lipstick and a shaved head trying to be goth, but failing, this series also tries to be black humour, but it too mainstream to every succeed.

I think that last sentance was very run-on, but wtf do I care for? This is *not* one of my old philosophy essays.

In catch-up news, topics of jobs, moving, and socializing arrive.

Job - new job, due to new location. It's not bad, but still mundane and un-career-like and boring. And frustrating, because my supervisor has so much crap she needs to get done that it's hard to get her attention for any length of time to get stuff answered so *I* can get something done.

Moving - was relieving. It's so good to finally have all of the surroundings that spent a month tormenting my brain with the fact that my ex was in fact my ex, and not a permanent happy part of my life anymore. The help was amazing, everyone who showed up to help rocks! :) Honestly, I think my ex was more cracked up about it than I was. He regrets the break-up, though not necessarily the space in the relationship it provided, and it was a painful reminder of it to him. Me, I'd dealt with the permanency of that issue long before I got the opportunity to move, and was just happy to have it over with and be starting something new. Yes, it has taken me far too long to get my crap sorted out in my new apartment, but it's coming together slowly.

Socializing - has been excessive. Now that I actually have *friends* in Edmonton (amazing, yes, I know), I haven't been home much. My productivity on everything else has suffered for it, and my cats are angry with me. Honestly, I'm maxing out here too. My quiet day to myself has been amazingly nice. I think I might have a (relatively) quiet week this week too, as the two lovely ladies I hang out with most will be in Bermuda for a while, starting mid-week.

What else? Still not over the lack-of-relationship thing. The casual touchy-feely thing in our group has had me wanting to run screaming (and instead just standing there really awkwardly) the last couple months. The exceptions to this general reaction are also a) damn fine friends and b) very attractive. So any comforting contact has been well... less than comforting most of the time. Though sometimes not in the moment, but afterwards, when the evening ends and I'm driving home. S has (thankfully) refrained from attempting to nudge me in the direction of another relationship/fling/etc... She's also been kind enough to point out the stupendous effort she's made. :) Shameless creature that she is, I appreciate the effort. Since I've been off the pill, I've finally had libido enough to have thoughts of another relationship of some sort. Those thoughts, of starting anything with anyone, have lately taken on the form of being stabbed in the chest with a grapefruit knife and having someone give it a good quick twist, to be sure I felt it.

So for now, I'm single. Until the grapefruit knives of break-up, melancholy, and self-pity decide to leave me the hell alone. Whenever that is. Pity. Some really awesome people are also single right now. By the time I'm ready to move on, they won't be. Things just work that way.

Been ill this past week. Still not over it. My cats let me sleep today though! Usually, when I'm good enough to not abandon them for my job, they let me sleep 'til 9 or 10, but they didn't bug me today at all.. I got up at 2, having slept like the dead for 12 hours... Beautiful merciful creatures they are, especially considering how little attention they've gotten recently.

Went to D's and my ex's birthday party last night. Which was okay. There was actually a portion of the night where I didn't feel awkward and out of the loop socially. There was sexy babes and lots of sugary confections. There were a few people I felt comfortable enough around to create pockets of conversation where I was okay, dispite the large numbers of people in the house. There was groping and lechery, but for the most part, it was the liberal 'would do this, and have, to everyone within a 5 ft radius of me' kind of debauchery. Minimal heartsoreness, though there were moments... Oddly enough, the most comfortable moments were cuddling with a friend's b/f and curling up on the couch briefly with my ex. Stupid me.

Now, I realize that this is long, and I am rambling again. I will sleep, and someday possibly catch up on other people's blogs. Adieu!